Dating/Relationships, Fun Life

Speed Dating Not Such a Bummer

Comments Off on Speed Dating Not Such a Bummer 16 May 2011

Dating is difficult. In New York City dating can prove itself even more difficult.

So what is a young quarter lifer to do?  Well, if you happen to be single and looking for the next mister or misses here are a few things you can do in the big city to spark or resuscitate your dating life.

Quite frankly many of you out there are probably fed up with the “buyer beware” online dating profiles supplied by sites like Match.Com and Plentyoffish.com.

One answer to online click a date problem is the Speed Date.  Many of you know of speed dating from the feature film, the 40-year-old Virgin staring Steve Carrell. Carrell’s character, Andy Stitzer, is witness to a roulette style meeting of individuals that he finds anything but interesting.

But is real life speed dating anything like that? Well, this reporter sampled a few to let the quarter-lifers of New York City know that it is nowhere near as bad as the film depicted it.

Getting ready for Speed dating:

I knew a couple in college that was truly in love. When asked about their love story they noted not a coffee bar mix up or a chance encounter. They spoke of a bar in Queens and a small card with their names on it.

I thought of one day doing it. But my life never gave the chance, and I was too busy studying psychology to make any time.

But after a series of bad breakups at the beginning of my quarter life, I wondered what was next. The blind dates and personal ads left me with nothing special to talk about and $65 dollars less in my pocket. But the memory of speed dating lingered in the back of my mind.

So with the click of a mouse I went onto meetup.com and searched for a few places across the city.

I found a few that caught my eye, Salsa Speed Dating and Bachata Speed Dating

The dancing was a natural fit for me. I was pretty good at it so I decided to give it a try. Escape with Dance organizes both the Salsa and Bachata group. The fees for both groups are nominal about $19.
“We have found that through learning dance a lot could be revealed about personalities and compatibility,” said the Escape with Dance organizer DJ.

So I went to the Salsa Speed dating event at Pearl Studios. I admit that I was intimidated at first. The sight of 18 people that had never crossed before was something both exhilarating and anxiety causing to me.  But when the music started that all melted away.

“I just came to have fun and see what’s out there,” said Kennia Ramirez. The young lady danced one song and then went on to the next partner, a scene performed by the other 17 participants.  Nothing like the barrage of questions that poor Andy faced.

Those that couldn’t dance still tried and laughed. Their shortcoming became an icebreaker. The conversation and the drinks flowed with easy after the first few dances. A smile and a number exchanged.

“It was fun and different. I’d definitely do it again,” Said Robert Appleton.

Both the Bachata and Salsa Speed Dating events are similar in tone and manner of meeting people. But the fundamentals of the event are the same.

So if your interested here are some key pieces of advice learned over the two speed dating sessions:

Relax- It can’t be said enough. It can be worse than having to interact with someone for more than 3 or 4 minutes. You can be stuck with someone you don’t like for the better part of a bad dinner. Take a deep breath smile and just go with it!

Bring a friend(s)- Feel intimidated? Then make it a group thing. Security in numbers is sometimes a good thing. So give it a quick though. 

Dressing the part- If you look good you feel good. It can be that simple. You dress up for a job so why not put on your best for a date. You have a short amount of time to make a good impression. Therefore your appearance is a very crucial element to the speed dating experience.

Be on time- Being on time is necessary for many things. Speed Dating included. You could miss out miss out on valuable information that could be beneficial to the overall enjoyment of the event. 

Drink it up! – If steps al else fails take a few drinks and loosen up. If anything it will make you a bit more open to what people can bring to the experience.

Author

- who has written 5 posts on QUARTER.LIFE. NEW YORK.

Contact Juan De Jesus at dejesus@motthavenherald.com

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